By Adaora Onyechere Sydney-Jack
You are not a fairytale , let’s get this out of the way first and neither are you the fixation of anyone’s imagination. In a world where external validation often dictates our emotions, it’s easy to fall into the trap of relying on others for our happiness. We may find ourselves waiting for the perfect relationship, the ideal job, or the acknowledgment of friends and family to feel truly fulfilled. But what if we could shift our perspective and realize that true happiness doesn’t need to come from anyone else , it can come from within.
External Happiness by others is just a myth. Many people seek joy through external sources whether it’s from a significant other, the approval of colleagues, or the constant hustle to impress others. While these factors can bring moments of happiness, they are fleeting. People are unpredictable, and situations are constantly shifting. If we place our happiness in the hands of others, we risk losing it when things change, and we may even find ourselves disappointed or resentful when others don’t meet our expectations.
The truth is, people are just people. They have their own lives, struggles, and limitations. They cannot be the sole architects of our happiness. If we are to experience lasting joy, we must learn to cultivate it within ourselves.
To make yourself happy from within, it’s essential to tap into what genuinely brings you joy and fulfillment. This means exploring the activities, passions, and pursuits that resonate with your soul. For some, it might be art, music, or writing; for others, it could be nature, exercise, or meditation. The key is to find what makes you feel alive and immersed in the present moment. When you pursue what lights you up from the inside, you build a foundation of joy that doesn’t rely on anyone else’s presence or validation.
Self-contentment comes from embracing the things that make you feel complete whether that’s your career, hobbies, or relationships. When you are rooted in these internal sources of joy, external circumstances or people’s behavior will not have the same power to shake your sense of peace.
I am slim, i am fat, i am slow, i am not where i want to be, this is what i am needed to be … blablabla, Please Stop! you can never truly be everything at the same time and most importantly what other people need.
The critical element of finding happiness from within is self-acceptance. Often, we seek approval from others because we don’t fully accept ourselves. We might feel that we need to be perfect, fit into certain molds, or meet someone’s expectations to be worthy of love and happiness. But real joy comes from embracing ourselves as we are, with all our flaws and imperfections. By learning to love yourself, you free yourself from the constant pressure of needing others to approve or validate your existence. You realize that your worth doesn’t depend on external validation it comes from knowing and accepting your true self.
Let go of the expectations and unbreak your heart. A major source of unhappiness in relationships and interactions with others is the expectations we place on them. When we expect someone to make us happy, we set them up for failure, because no one person can meet all of our needs or desires. People can’t always be there when we want them, nor should they be expected to fulfill every emotional gap we feel.
By making no demands on others and expecting nothing in return, you release the pressure and allow relationships to be more authentic and fulfilling. When you don’t depend on others to provide happiness, you begin to appreciate their presence and companionship without burdening them with the weight of your emotional well-being.
Be grateful and yes be mindful. Practicing gratitude and mindfulness is a powerful way to nurture happiness from within and this is the simplest yet most profound way to understand the depth of one’s self. When you shift your focus from what you lack to what you have, you begin to see the abundance in your life. Even in challenging times, there is something to be grateful for whether it’s a moment of calm, a kind word from a stranger, or the beauty of nature.Mindfulness helps you stay present and appreciate the small joys in life that often go unnoticed. By being fully engaged in the moment, you allow yourself to experience life more deeply and find happiness in the here and now.
The Freedom of Independence…Imagine a mind free to reimagine your expectations in self and decide what makes you you? this is the meaning of true independence . When you free yourself from needing anyone to make you happy, you step into a place of personal empowerment. Happiness becomes something you control. You realize that no external circumstance can define your emotional state, and no relationship or situation can determine your worth. This freedom allows you to pursue your passions, deepen your self-awareness, and build a life that is meaningful to you. While relationships and external experiences can bring joy, they are not the source of your happiness. That power belongs to you. By learning to find happiness from within, you can cultivate a sense of peace and contentment that endures, regardless of what’s happening around you.
My Conclusion really is that the journey to happiness begins with you. People will come and go, situations will change, and life will present challenges, but your happiness can be rooted in who you are and what you love. Stop waiting for others to fill the void or create your joy. Instead, explore what truly makes you happy, let go of unrealistic expectations, and embrace the freedom of self-contentment. When you stop demanding happiness from others and look inward, you’ll discover a wellspring of joy that no one can take away and that itself is your AEQUO ANIMO,Peace of Mind in its most beautiful form.
